Heartache

I don't understand why my life has to be this way?  The stress is relentless and I keep trying to put a stop to it, but it increases two-fold every time I do!  I can't stand where my relationships with the closest two people in my life are right now, and I don't know how it will ever get better.  It causes me a great distress and it doesn't matter what I say to either, they are both so bull-headed, they won't budge.  They both feel the exact same way!  To me, it's easy, but to them, oh no, it's huge!

I want to hide!  Crawl into a hole and just sleep and hide!  I can't though, I have a beautiful grandson to look after and care for.  He keeps me going..if it wasn't for him, I don't know if I would of made it through the last few months!

My heart aches everyday, as tears roll down my face when there is silence and no-one around.  I can not share my pain, when I do I am wrong.  Whether it is my emotional or physical pain.  Emotionally i am just wrong no matter what, and physically there is nothing that can be done so quit saying it and making someone else feel bad.  I can't do anything right at this point and I feel like I am dying inside. 

This is where my pain goes, and stays.  Right here on this blog, and it stays here.  It is my outlet, my only one for now, but not for long.  I can not take not being able to speak how I feel cause I am always wrong, which is how everyone else is feeling too.  We are so broken.....And I don't know if anyone realizes it but me in this relationship.  I am scared, lonely, frustrated, and very sad.  I just want things fixed, if they can be....