I am struggling with my own demons and hitting a brick wall. I am financially and emotionally drained! As I try to break free of the stress, it continues to grow out of control. I feel like giving in to it all, and just giving up. It seems no matter how hard i try, it isn't working.
I feel as though my life has spun out of control, and I am whirling in the wind. I can't handle the pressure I am feeling from others, and of myself! I want so much to take control, yet I fail to do so.
I am in this state of being, but not really here. I can't think, concentrate nor put words together to say anything correctly. I am lacking the energy to just be. I am scared, and anxious, yet at the same time I feel nothing. How can that be? I am not sure, but that is what i am going through.
My neck and face quiver as the spasms are light but nonstop! It hurts. I'm in pain! So much pain physically and emotionally, that I am left feeling broken and alone. Reaching out is of no interest to me, I want to be alone.... Alone with my fears, judgements, and the depression it brings. Right now, "IT" is winning!
Where I go from here, I don't know. But I have to pick myself up sooner or later. Sooner would be better then later yet later is when it will happen. I lack all energy even to care about myself. I don't right now. I am in such a dark place where I know I need to battle back from. But I don't care right now.
Anguish, anger, disappointment, ashamed, isolated, depressed! These are some of the feelings I am having about myself as of late. I don't feel I am strong enough to fight the fight today, so today I give in! I can't fix anything, so I need to let go and give into my feelings and let the emotions come that I so desperately try to keep hidden from the world around me. I can't hold it together anymore and I need to release all this hostility I am holding in. Tonight I am going to a meeting. I think it is time....
I feel as though my life has spun out of control, and I am whirling in the wind. I can't handle the pressure I am feeling from others, and of myself! I want so much to take control, yet I fail to do so.
I am in this state of being, but not really here. I can't think, concentrate nor put words together to say anything correctly. I am lacking the energy to just be. I am scared, and anxious, yet at the same time I feel nothing. How can that be? I am not sure, but that is what i am going through.
My neck and face quiver as the spasms are light but nonstop! It hurts. I'm in pain! So much pain physically and emotionally, that I am left feeling broken and alone. Reaching out is of no interest to me, I want to be alone.... Alone with my fears, judgements, and the depression it brings. Right now, "IT" is winning!
Where I go from here, I don't know. But I have to pick myself up sooner or later. Sooner would be better then later yet later is when it will happen. I lack all energy even to care about myself. I don't right now. I am in such a dark place where I know I need to battle back from. But I don't care right now.
Anguish, anger, disappointment, ashamed, isolated, depressed! These are some of the feelings I am having about myself as of late. I don't feel I am strong enough to fight the fight today, so today I give in! I can't fix anything, so I need to let go and give into my feelings and let the emotions come that I so desperately try to keep hidden from the world around me. I can't hold it together anymore and I need to release all this hostility I am holding in. Tonight I am going to a meeting. I think it is time....
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