Burdens

So here I sit, wanting to cry.  But tears seem to have escaped my eyes.  My heart is heavy with burdens that I can't seem to settle.  I worry for my daughter and the decisions she has been making.  I see her struggling, and there is nothing I can do.  My illness takes over and I feel the pain, not only in my heart but piercing through my body.  I carry this like a suitcase that is too heavy and to large to manage.  I feel desperate as I can't move it or even slide it to get through.

My husband is angry.  He has worked three weeks in a row without a day off.  He is stressed and frankly so am I.  His negativity eats at my soul, trying to swallow me hole.  I hold on as if I am grasping at straw at the top of a large whole, hoping to find the piece that is strong enough to pull me up.  I don't know when I will find the strong enough piece, but I still hold on.

All the drama and sadness that is surrounding me is swallowing me whole.  I am fighting the demons to stay positive and find the tunnel of light to escape the horrible scene.  Where are my tears, I can't find them.  I need a release.  Help should be right around the corner, but do I have to master it?  I've made some calls trying to reach out.  Will they help?  I don't know. 

I cannot continue to live this way.  The damage this is doing to me is not exactly known yet.  But it will not be good.  Yet I am here to fight the fight anyway I can.  Darkness has overpowered my family, and I need to find the light to escape.  What it will look like in the end I don't know.  But I will survive.  I am strong.  I just need to find that power within me to continue a few more days.