Could it be any Harder?

As the days in my life seem to pass me by, I keep questioning my thoughts in my head.  Life is hard, but will I make it harder?  If i give up on my relationship, what will happen?  Will anyone ever take me as I am or will i just be stigmatized?  My nights are lonely.  My life is lonely.  I just want to live my life with no regrets which i thought I was doing, but I am so unsure now.

Living in a fibro fog is frustrating.  I started effexor a couple months ago, and it does help with the fog, but I still have some days that I couldn't tell you what i said right after i said it.  It's very frustrating for me, and I am sure it is for others around me, especially my husband.  Lately he gives me the vibe that he is thinking I am lazy.  He'll ask me to do something, and I completely forget.  i don't do it purposely, it just is that way.  And he gets angry and walks away uttering something under his breath.  I can feel his resentment for me.  I am not imagining it at all.  He'll comment, "So you did nothing again?"  And he refuses to learn about the fibro and what it all entails.

I am thinking we are just together now because it has been twenty some years!  I don't see him happy at all.  And frankly I am not happy either.  Since starting the effexor, I have had a little more clarity and I am noticing things in our life that I didn't notice before.  So I guess that med is working for me as far as cognitively recognizing things I hadn't before.

I don't know where I am going from here.  I am not sure what journey I am going to take, but I know I need to make a positive change for myself and my health.  I need to make it good before its my time.  I need to have happiness in my life, and reject the negativity I have been living in.  Each day a part of me vanishes, and I need to stop being in denial of everything.  This can't go on forever.